We've been here a while now because we brought son Steven for his earlier flight. We're on our way to Texas to spend NY with children and grandchildren. Who thought this would've been such a tough Christmas. But having a child (grown man, actually) incarcerated, and our being firm about not bonding him out (5 incidents this year) has caused us anguish, especially given his fury with us, as if that's what we're here for--as of that's only what we're here for. It is apparent that love = money for D., no more, no less. So okay, but his abusive language to the man who has sheltered him, physically and psychologically, is at this time,now, right now, unforgivable. I've watched his father age at least 10 years.
How is it that one child can take up about 90% of your emotional life? And that emotion being negative? This is the first time this man--approaching 40--has ever been told "no." That's not quite the truth--he's been told no numerous times. He's also been told, "No more money; this is the last time." But he has knwn that's not the truth--just a little begging and his parent will come through--they always have, especially when it involves keeping him out of jail. But so far the "no" has stuck, even with the demands, anger, abusive language, contrtiteness, promises (I'll never do this again), threats (I'll hang myself in my jail cell), accusations (My family has abandoned me), lame excuses (I don't like the people here.).
That has not been our christmas season in its entirety, but it has cast a pall over it. Yes, our visit with Steven and our anticipation of seeing children and grandchildren in Texas, a celebration of a 3rd son's birthday--all are great reasons for joy.
I've preached 3 times during Christmas/Advent. I'll post those sermons here.
Lord in your mercy, hear our prayer.
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